Emily's Birth Story

Following the lead of Hannah McMillian, I thought I would resurrect my own blog to tell the story of Emily's birth.

Just like Lance, I was hoping she would come late.  This year my sister was graduating from Harvard three days after my due date and I really wanted to be there.  I know what it is like to struggle and persevere to get an advanced degree (though not from Hah-vahd!) and I really wanted to attend to show how proud of her I was.   So we'll start there.  I was due on May 27 but I told everyone that I thought Emily would arrive on June 1.  I am convinced that the secret to short labors is falling asleep to the Hypnobirthing book every night so I had been reading diligently for two weeks.  It was working too! I had a midwife appointment on May 29 and she said that I was already dilating  though I hadn't felt anything yet. (I will take having contractions in my sleep any day!) That afternoon we were supposed to leave for Cambridge.  I made a list of the names and addresses of all of the hospitals along the route that take my insurance just in case I did go into labor in the car.  Syracuse, NY is approximately five hours from Cambridge, MA so I had five hospitals on the list.  As we drove, we followed a rainstorm across New England.  I felt minor contractions the whole time and as we neared Cambridge I felt two major contractions.  We arrived and I told my sister Amy and my parents that they may just have to take Lance and we head on over to the Brigham and Women's hospital. (If you have to have a last minute change of venue for your delivery, at least make it at one of the best hospitals in the country!)  But as I sat down and started to chat with my family, the contractions stopped and never came back.  The graduation was wonderful, inspiring, and joyous and I am so glad we were able to attend!

We got back on Thursday, May 30 night and I thought that Emily would definitely be coming that Saturday.  My mom and sister arrived on Saturday but still no baby.  Finally the following Wednesday I had another midwife appointment where they monitored Emily's heartbeat and my "uterine activity" as well to see if anything was happening.  Nothing was at that moment but I was even more dilated and effaced so I knew my body was working.  Both midwives happened to be in the office at that time and they both came in to talk to me.  They talked about how they were supportive of me waiting until my body was ready but there were two concerns.  First, there was only one bed open right now in the birthing center where I planned to deliver, so there was a chance I would just have to deliver in the regular hospital part and have the continuous monitoring that is standard there.  More importantly, they were a concerned that Emily seemed to be slightly lethargic according to the test they had just run.  I too had been worried that I hadn't felt as much movement in the past 24 hours so we decided to have the midwife go ahead and strip my membranes to hopefully induce labor.  She said that once she did it, I could go home and make final preparations with my family and then just come on over to the Birthplace when I started to feel hard contractions.  Lance was already home with my mother so I thought this was a good plan.  No sooner had she begun the procedure, though, that my water broke.  It was pretty funny to hear the midwife's exclamations and interjections but we both knew that my water was about to break anyway and I was grateful that at least it happened in the privacy of an exam room rather than at the grocery store I was planning on stopping at on the way home!

As we cleaned up the room we chatted about my personal financial consultation business and the entrepreneurial market in Syracuse.  Then the midwives excused themselves so I could get dressed.  By the time they came back in (about five minutes later) I had had two very hard contractions and was throwing up in the trash can.  I told them that I probably needed to go to the Birthplace right now and that I couldn't drive myself.  There was a mass flurry as they tried to figure out what to do with me as well as the four ladies in the waiting room and then one of the midwives and her assistant left to drive me over there in her Prius. I am so grateful that I didn't end up giving birth in my midwife's car!  She parked in the physician's parking lot and we entered by the side door, which meant I had no access to a wheelchair and there were many physicians in the back hallways who wanted to know what was going on.  I was in the zone by that point, though, and just held on to Kathy and continued to walk forward knowing that eventually I would arrive at the Birthplace.  When we finally arrived I just laid down on the bed and then started wondering where Scottie was? I had called him from the doctor's office right after my first contraction and told him to go straight to the hospital.  That was 22 minutes ago! I started asking for him and the hospital staff offered to call him but just then I heard his cheery voice out in the waiting room saying what sounded like "Hidee ho! I'm here for Nancy Waterbury!" I wanted to yell "I am in the THROES OF PAIN, Come help me!" but he sounded so alarmingly cheery that I had to laugh at the irony.  He came in and held my hand and then I was cleared to push.  As I was pushing I thought "Wow, this really feels a lot harder than with Lance" and at one point I even said "Guys I don't think I can do this." I remember feeling borderline hysterical when contemplating that I might get her stuck because I just couldn't bring myself to finish the job but then the midwife started talking about her hair and I knew I was going to finish.

A few minutes later, Emily Meadow Waterbury emerged.  The feeling of release was AMAZING and then I heard everyone immediately comment on how big she was.  It never occurred to me that she might be bigger than 8 1/2 lbs until she was actually in the birth canal.  I probably should have suspected when three different strangers asked me this month if I was sure I wasn't carrying twins.  Well a 10 lb 1 oz baby could look like twins! She cried immediately, which was such a relief since Lance didn't, and she was ready to nurse within a few minutes.  Overall, it was clear that she knew what she was doing from minute one.  She will be my go getter girl! As for timing, my appointment was at 2:30, I actually showed up at 2:40 (Nancy standard time), my water broke around 3:20, I called Scottie at 4:00, arrived at the hospital at 4:22, and delivered Emily at 4:42.  Then, in another twist of irony I got pitocin at 5:00 because I was bleeding too much!

I was so happy with my midwives and the nurse.  Even though I didn't get to use any of the Birthplace's cool amenities like their tub, birthing ball or birthing stool, I loved the staff and felt like it was a wonderful delivery.  It is easy to go natural when you don't have a choice.  What I think is really amazing are the women who delivered all around me after hours of labor and who still made the choice to go natural.  Congratulations to Sami, Kami, Margy, Hannah, and Rachel.  You women are the real heroines! Thank you for your encouragement.

Love
Nancy

Trials

My friend lost his wife yesterday.  They have a four year old, a two year old and a four day old.  It was totally sudden.  I am just shocked and heartbroken for him and his family.  All of us in the program are.  It has reminded me of how fragile life really is.  I look at my list of things that must be accomplished today and they all suddenly seem so inconsequential and frivolous.  I'm reminded of what really matters and how if the only thing I get to have is my family forever then I won't need anything else.  A friend commented last night that we need to remember that when we left the home of a loving Heavenly Parent to come to earth, the same emotions of loss were probably felt as we feel when we lose someone now to go back there.  At least I know that she was received with joy by people who love her and are so glad she is there.  This is the temporary existence.  As my sister always reminds us, life is so short! I was driving to the temple a few days ago just marveling at the fact that about 1/3 of my life is already over.  I have already gotten through a THIRD of the time I have allotted for me to make a difference for good on the earth.  It was a cool reality check.  How am I doing?  Am I using my daily time to its highest and best use?
Another thought I had is how much many of my dear friends have had to endure these past two years.  We've seen many trials.  I've held hands with those suffering from miscarriages, threats of divorce, deaths of loved ones, frustration with marital status, and a myriad of other life changing trials.  I feel like during the past two years I have regularly cried with and over friends but not really over anything personal.  I've wondered "How is it that my friends have to face such trials while I am simply going along happy as a clam?"  but then I remember that trials have different times and seasons.  Six years ago I faced my own harrowing trial and sometimes when I am leaving the temple I burst into tears just remembering it.  It is about times and seasons.  If I could just tell my friends how utterly spent and devastated I was six years ago and how utterly joyful and peaceful I am now, maybe it could lend some hope for the future.  These trials are here to help us grow closer to our Maker.  If we cling to Him during these times, the blessing of future happiness for us cannot be denied.

The LGN Diet

There is nothing like the allure/threat of Duck Beach to make me finally throw away any sweets in this house.  I am sick of having this baby fat and I am finally ready to do something about it! I joined fabulous Weight Wars where a bunch of girls get together and come up with roller derby names and then compete to see who can lose the most percentage before Duck.  I am in last place but at least I'm starting to lose some weight! I am so excited to get back into all of my cute summer clothes and most importantly- don a bathing suit at Duck.  I still haven't worked cardio into my schedule yet.  I keep trying to get over to my parents to run on the treadmill but something seems to come up every day! Any advice?

27 Days Left!!

Nancy

Lance's Birth Story. April 22, 2011

Hello Friends,

Somehow none of you seemed to get the email we sent from the hospital over the weekend. I'm sure you can blame us and our apparent incompetence in pressing the send button to our perpetual state of sleep deprivation! Anyway, here are a few details and pics regarding our n

ew addition to the family. :)

I turned in my last final (Global Mgmt) on Thursday the 21st at 3:15 PM. That night I got a massage and went out for some spicy Shobu Shobu. I thought "hey, I'm already five days past my due date, why not live a little?" That night at about 1:20 AM I woke up to some hard contractions. I was trying to time them but it was really hard. I woke Scottie up when I started to feel nauseous, right around 1:50. We started driving and by that point I was thinking "Why did I choose American Fork Hospital?? My epidural is so far away!" The whole car ride felt like one long contraction. We finally arrived, though, and Scottie said "I'm going to get you a wheelchair" and I thought to myself "No, I can walk. Wait, can I walk? Oh this hurts!!!" and by then he was back. We got to the second floor where my midwives were waiting and the elevator opened and I said "Hello. I need an epidural". They said "Ok but lets check you first". They put me on the bed where I asked for one again and they said no and told me to push. Scottie says that I then said "Ok I'll push but then can I get an epidural?" :) We arrived at the hospital at 2:25 AM and I had Lance at 2:38 AM. Naturally!

His full name is Lawrence Sky Antonelli Waterbury and he was 8 lbs 0 oz and 19 inches long at birth. He is amazing and we are totally in love. :) Each day the eating thing gets a little better. Its been a pretty busy week all around. We got a job this week as the Community Aides in our campus quad and then Scottie got called to be in the ward Bishopric. That means that he helps out the leader of our congregation each week now. So its a little bit overwhelming but we are so grateful that we have each other. Good luck to each of you as we begin this summer. We wil

l miss you all, except for Keeler, Ammon and Bad Ash. We want to hang out with you three as soon as we start telling the days apart again.

Here are some pics.

Love

Nancy and Scottie

James Allen's As A Man Thinketh... and Real Estate.

This book was first written in 1903 and is considered to be one of the pioneering works in the self help arena. It is philosophical in nature but I thought I would have some fun with it and illuminate its numerous applications to the real estate world. It was divided into many chapters, some of which were more relevant than others. Chapters that I gleaned the most from were entitled Effect of Thought on Circumstances and Thought and Purpose. In The Effect of Thought on Circumstances, James Allen proposes that one actually has control over her circumstances by exercising control of her thoughts. He promotes a clear illustration of this theory with the following example:

Here is a man who is wretchedly poor. He is extremely anxious that his surroundings and home comforts should be improved, yet all the time he shirks his work, and considers he is justified in trying to deceive his employer on the ground of the insufficiency of his wages. Such a man does not understand the simplest rudiments of those principles which are the basis of true prosperity, and is not only totally unfitted to rise out of his wretchedness, but is actually attracting to himself a still deeper wretchedness by dwelling in, and acting out, indolent, deceptive, and unmanly thoughts.

And then he illuminates the opposite with:

A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.

In the chapter Thought and Purpose, Allen focuses on persuading the reader that it is not enough to simply guard one’s thoughts. A person must also channel and focus her thoughts if she intends to one day become successful. In the competitive world of real estate, a certain strength is required. This can be achieved through focused conditioning and self-control within the realm of thought. As these two quotes extol:

Until thought is linked with purpose there is no intelligent accomplishment…Aimlessness is a vice, and such drifting must not continue for him who would steer clear of catastrophe and destruction.

To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.

For one whose favorite books are Atlas Shrugged, The Big Short, and Smart Women Finish Rich, this book represented a departure from my usual interests. It was difficult to change gears and explore a philosophical book and I tended to spend a large quantity of time simply pondering each statement. As I did so, though, I was able to recognize truth that could not only be applied to attaining success within the real estate environment, but to making strides in all worthy occupational as well as social and spiritual goals as well.

Women's Lacrosse

This past week I went looking for the BYU Women's lacrosse schedule for the spring season. I searched for a half hour and couldn't find it anywhere! I finally Facebooked a girl I've never met who was kind enough to email me the schedule. I was glad to have gotten it resolved (and I've posted it below), but it raises some concerns. Why does lacrosse have to be a club sport? I am not an expert, but some of the drawbacks to being a club sport seem to be 1) Title 9 Restrictions don't seem to apply (we keep an updated website for men's lacrosse but nothing for women!) 2) They don't have the BYU muscle to be able to change tournament schedules to avoid Sunday play, and 3) They charge All Sports Pass holders to watch their games, thereby reducing an already small crowd. 4) The players have to come up with a lot for their own fees, 5) the scholarships are comparatively few and far between, I could just go on and on. It seems silly to me that lacrosse, which is huge in the East and getting bigger and bigger out here each year, would still be treated like such a second class sport. If you've never seen a lacrosse game, I encourage you to make the time to go before we graduate. Or even after. They will be playing on April 21st! Here is the 2012 BYU women's lacrosse schedule. You'll have no trouble finding the men's schedule elsewhere.

Friday March 9th 5:00 pm BYU vs Westminster @ Westminster

Saturday March 24th 10:45am BYU vs Utah State @ Westminster

Saturday March 24th 4:00 pm BYU vs UNLV @ Utah

Friday March 30th 3:00pm BYU vs Arizona @ CU

Friday March 30th 6:00 pm BYU vs Colorado State @ CU

Saturday March 31st 9:30 am BYU vs Colorado @CU

Saturday March 31st 2:00 pm BYU vs Santa Clara @ CU

Thursday April 5th 6:00 pm BYU vs Utah @ Utah

Tuesday April 10th 5:00 pm BYU vs Utah Valley @UVU

Saturday April 21st Tournament @Westminster

Carrie caused the Financial Meltdown

I was once asked "If you could name only one person or group responsible for the recent real estate housing bust, who would you blame?" Of course it was the perfect storm of many parties rationalizing that brought us to where we are, but but if I could only name one person... it would be Carrie Bradshaw. Ever since she became an iconic American symbol back in 1998 the real estate market took off. It ran up unsustainable growth which concerned some frugal Americans but simply excited others to aspire to be just like her. Though Carrie herself was not a homeowner, she spent 94 episodes of television attempting to convince the American public of two myths that distinctly brought about the meltdown. These myths are 1) “the key to happiness is acquisition”, and 2) “one does not have to incur consequences for irresponsible actions”.

First, through all aspects of her life, Carrie attempted to convince us that the key to happiness is acquisition. This is shown through her over $40,000 collection of shoes, her tendency to max out credit cards, and her famous conclusion in A Woman’s Right to Shoes which is that since single women do not have their life choices celebrated ("Hallmark don't make a 'congratulations-you-didn't-marry-the-wrong-guy card'!") it is therefore okay to spend that much on oneself, specifically one's shoes, to make the single girl's walk through life a little more fun. This pervasive sentiment allowed the average boring American who wanted to lead a more glamorous life like Carrie Bradshaw’s to spend considerable amount of time and effort contemplating ways in which to acquire more. Since the 1930’s the American people have been taught that they have “made it” when they become property owners. Because of this definition, coupled with the constant weekly reminder from Carrie that the average person doesn’t own enough and is therefore not good enough, people ran in droves to seek out mortgage lenders who would get them into a house regardless of income, assets, or employment. If people did not heed the siren song of “possessions and wealth will make you happy” sung so beautifully by the past decade of media led by Carrie Bradshaw, they would not have felt the urge so strongly to enter into risky deals that they frankly could not afford.

Second, Carrie spent just as much energy attempting to convince the average American that one does not have to incur the consequences for irresponsible actions. This was seen explicitly in almost every episode but most keenly in her continual smoking habit, her admission of having an abortion (along with Samantha’s four), and her response to her boyfriend’s mother when she caught her smoking marijuana “Yes, the pot is mine and I’m taking it with me!” Throughout all of this Carrie has held next to no regard for consequences and consistently taught us that if one can run from the results of irresponsibility, by all means, run! To equate this back to the turmoil in the real estate market, banks would willingly lend to the poor Americans discussed above because they could immediately foist consequences upon others by

selling the loans through securitization. These mortgage lenders therefore were able to create a situation where they could act without any concern for repercussions, just like Carrie did in her discourses on the merits of birth control. After buying these subprime loans, large investment banks (such as Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley) would turn them into CMOs and then sell them to investors. They blatantly told investors that they were essentially riskless because the odds of the American public all defaulting on their loans at the same time were infinitely small. In the beginning, this was true but as the demand for CMO’s continued to outpace the supply of mortgages in the booming real estate sector the investment banks soon created CDOs which were simply collateralized debt options which included synthetics which were bets on loans that had been previously securitized. This led to a situation where a previous CMO would be cut up according to credit ratings and then a portion of that CMO (often the BBB portion) would get re-cut to a CDO with a whole new set of credit ratings. As this became more prevalent, the chances of mass defaults grew with the threat of a market downturn. Once the market did have a correction, coupled with the rising interest rates, the perfect storm was created. And since all players had systematically shirked responsibility in the past, everyone (including those who deigned not to play) had to pay.

In order to fix this difficult economic scenario and insulate America from repeats of this episode in the future, one major initiative must be in place. The first is a general retrenchment away from Carrie Bradshaw and towards Donna Reed. It helps that Carrie is no longer on the air, though her reruns still haunt us in edited form on less popular channels. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Donna Reed, who can only be viewed on the internet now. Carrie embodied pride. Donna Reed embodied humility. Until we as an American culture place regard for humility more than pride again then these cycles of greed and dishonesty will continue. The American government will try

to impose further regulations and limits on both the American bankers and borrowers but in reality our fundamental outlook on acquisition must change. This return to humility must occur in the investment banking, mortgage loan, and consumer spheres. In order to measure this, one could use the CPI. If the consumer price index (less food and energy) continues to rise, then one can assume that Americans are continuing to try to gain more than they need. If, after the media implement new “return to humility” programming highlighting brotherhood and altruism instead of greed and the CPI stabilizes within three years, we can assume that America has retrenched and sustainable growth is in the future.